A mentor is a wise and trusted advisor. Done correctly, mentorship should help you get where you’re going quicker and with fewer mistakes than you would have alone. Very often, I hear complaints from people about the lack of availability of “good mentors.” Many people ask, “Why won’t that person mentor me?” Sadly, they have come to the conclusion that the individual is selfish and has no heart for mentoring. Most of the time, this is the furthest thing from the truth.
We need a shift in mindset, so just say “ouch” if you see yourself in this blog. Sometimes we believe that if we don’t pay for something, it costs nothing. This is particularly true of mentorship relationships, where an individual may be mentored by a friend, family member, colleague, or supervisor at no monetary cost. However, it is important to understand that everything costs, including mentorship. Although you may not pay money out of pocket, the individual is investing his/her most important commodity, and that is time: time to notice you, time to observe you, time to hear you, time to think about you, time to advise you, and time to reflect with you. Oh, it costs!!
As a mentor, I usually look for a return on investment (ROI). I ask myself the following questions:
- Is the individual growing in proportion to the time and wisdom being invested?
- Does the mentee come prepared with good questions for our mentorship session?
- Does the mentee argue with me or push back over recommendations and suggestions?
- How well does the mentee listen and follow instructions? Is he/she making application of knowledge/information being shared?
- What have they done with the last instruction and information provided? If they have done nothing, I will refuse a second appointment. If they have implemented very little of what I suggested because they have received 10 other opinions, I refuse a second appointment. Surely, they don’t need one more opinion.
- Is the mentee in turn mentoring someone else or are they selfish with their time and energy in pouring into someone else? If so, I also refuse to mentor. The person who doesn’t serve others is a poor investment.
Good mentorship time is at a premium. To the extent that someone is mentoring you, whether paid or not, respect the mentor’s time, or they will find someone who will. Remember, most good mentors are watching you for consistency, preparation, implementation, application, multiplication, and service to others. Make sure you show a good return on investment.
Barbara M. Littles, Esq.
Embrace, Engage, and Empower
CEO, Purpose By Design